Taylor: [00:00:00] You can build and create and design the most beautiful place in the world, but it takes people. To make the dream a reality 

Cody: Mind Hack is a podcast about the psychology behind performance, behavior change, and self-op optimization. Each episode explorers how to think clearly, work smarter and live intentionally through insightful conversations with leading entrepreneurs, scientists, and experts, and human behavior.

Hello and welcome to the Mind Hack Podcast, the show where we explore the science of peak performance, mindset, and personal growth. I'm your host Cody McLain, and today I'm joined by Taylor Scott, a hospitality pioneer, bestselling author, and leadership expert known for transforming workplaces through generosity and hospitality.

In his upcoming book, give Hospitality, Taylor offers a compelling story demonstrating how a spirit of generosity can inspire genuine connection, [00:01:00] transform toxic environments, and elevate both personal and professional relationships. Taylor has spent over two decades shaping cultures at industry leaders such as Disney Parks, Gaylord Hotels, and the cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, helping leaders create meaningful, engaged, and compassionate environments.

In this conversation, we'll uncover how you can practically integrate generosity and hospitality into your leadership style, driving meaningful results at work, home, and within your community. So without further ado, please welcome Taylor. Scott Taylor, welcome to the show. 

Taylor: Thank you so much for having me.

Great to be here. 

Cody: So you're You're very welcome. So Taylor, you spent two decades leading teams at some of these, the biggest names in hospitality. So what was it about those experiences or earlier experiences that kind of hammered in home this idea that leading with hospitality was the. 

Taylor: Yeah, I sorted out just as like a fan, [00:02:00] like I'm from the east coast, I'm from Kentucky, born and raised in Kentucky, and like most people that grew up in the south or over there on the eastern seaboard, you know, it comes time to go to.

Go on vacation. A lot of us go to Walt Disney World. So we were no different. We would go down to Walt Disney World. Uh, sometimes my parents would like put the next vacation on the credit card before they paid off the last one, just because that was just an important time for us. Um, so it started out just me being so curious and really in love with all things.

Disney and vacation and summertime. Uh, and then, you know, we, we grow and we grow up. And um, of course I went to undergrad in Lakeland, Florida on purpose because it was 40 miles due west of Walt Disney World, of the Walt Disney World Resort. 'cause I knew I wanted to work there. Um, so yeah, then it was just a series of experiences, series of, of roles in the show there, if you will, at Walt Disney World as a hourly cast member that as a salary leader.

And the more I would learn about the business side of things and the [00:03:00] leadership side of things, of how Disney approached it, just the more fascinated I became about. All things leadership and personal growth. Um, so that led to me just being a student of the game, if you will. And since then, here we are 20 plus years later and I'm still fascinated with it, still seeking to understand meeting and, you know, collaborating with people like you and your audience, just 'cause we're all on this journey to become our absolute best.

So, I guess not one thing, but a series of, you know, experiences along the way that keeps me, keeps me excited about this type of work. 

Cody: Was there a particular moment in your journey in which you saw the power of generosity in leadership? 

Taylor: Absolutely. Over and over and over again. I mean, we've all been out here, um, you know, working.

We've had great leaders, we've had very bad leaders, we've had a lot of leaders probably in between. Um, but I think about just sort of mistakes that I've made, you know, along the way, things where I got [00:04:00] it wrong and leaders that I've had here and there. Not all of them, but I can think of a couple, um, that really met that moment with empathy.

They met that momenta with compassion. They met that moment. With a little bit of grace and they offer grace to me and they encouraged me by just telling me things like, you know what? We all make mistakes. And then I can think of a couple times right here in Las Vegas, I live in Las Vegas again, um, now, and I was working at the cosmopolitan of Las Vegas and you know, I messed up, we'll just leave it at that.

I made a mistake. And, uh, the head of basically hr, we called it the, um, the vice president of people. Um, that's when that job title started to be cool. When you call the HR people, people, um, he told me a story about he had done something similar earlier in his career when he worked down in Miami. So at a time when I was feeling lower than low and I'm a high performer, you know, I'm used to like getting a's on task, getting [00:05:00] a's in school, being the go-to guy, whether it was playing basketball or out here working.

Being the go-to guy, I was already. Feeling bad about myself, but in that moment, that sense of compassion and, and the empathy, um, really just showed me that, you know what, like that's the special stuff. That's the good stuff. Because those types of things, and especially in that moment, for me, it made me want to work harder.

It made me want to give more to him and to our organization. 

Cody: Hmm. Yeah. And so I think there's still a lot of leaders that are stuck in this old mindset that, that leadership is about strategy metrics and kind of giving orders. But I think your core message flips that on its head and saying that you need to make people feel welcome, comfortable, and, and important.

But, uh, that sounds kind of simple. Can can you kind of go into what you really mean by leading with hospitality in the context of, of leadership and business? 

Taylor: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. [00:06:00] 6, 5, 6. Actually more than that, six, seven years ago. You know, I was just curious. I had made my career transition for working in traditional sort of hospitality and entertainment companies, Disney Parks and Resorts, win and Encore, cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

And I knew I wanted to get into sort of like being an author and a speaker and a consultant and you know, sort of the thought leadership space. Um, so I got curious and I just dove in and started doing research on my own. I'm like, why do we love certain leaders? Why do we do more for certain leaders? Um.

But other ones, we just don't. And, and, and, uh, wanted to know why. Well, what I learned is that we love our favorite leaders, and we are inspired into action with our favorite leaders, with certain leaders for the same reasons we're inspired into action with our favorite hospitality destinations. I mentioned growing up a Disney kid, going to Walt Disney World, and then as an adult wanting to work for the Disney company and then wanting to live in Southern [00:07:00] California work at Disneyland.

And so what I found is it's all rooted really in human psychology and science. So I came across, um, chip and Dan Heath's book Switch, how to Change When Change Is Hard. And they used foundationally in that book, which was, by the way, translated into, uh, I think 48 different languages, sold 12 million copies.

And like, if they could use this research, then why can't, uh, so. They pointed to, and they used as a foundation for their message in that book switch. How to change when change is hard, they point to Jonathan het. H-A-I-D-T. Jonathan het, he's an NYU psychologist, and he wrote a book called The Happiness Hypothesis, and in his book, he paints the picture of what's going on inside the human brain at all times.

And we do this in our workshops. I share this in my keynotes and people are like, we're gonna talk about science, we're gonna talk about human psychology. I'm like, yeah. Because if you [00:08:00] and I are gonna be successful leading humans, then it behooves us to understand how humans behave and what's going on inside the human brain.

So here's the deal. Here's what Jonathan, he's research shares with us. He's like, you know how we have the left side of the brain and the right side of the brain? The left side of the brain is responsible for the logic, the analysis of things like math, intellect. The right side of the brain is responsible for the emotions and creativity and imagination.

So here's Jonathan Height's metaphor, if you will, of what's going on inside the human brain. That's all these people on our teams, all these people that we're trying to sell to and market to. Here's what's going on inside their brains. He's like, picture a human person sitting on top of a six ton elephant.

The human person, we'll call that person the rider, and the rider represents the left side of the brain. The elephant, the six ton elephant that the rider is sitting on, that represents [00:09:00] the right side of the brain, the emotion. Now, the rider and the elephant both have a role in the show here to get this human to do anything at all.

The rider representing the left side of the brain is responsible for the direction of where the person's gonna go. On the other hand, the elephant. Six ton elephant, mind you, representing the right side of the brain, the emotions, the feelings. The elephant is responsible for providing the energy and enthusiasm to move, the energy and enthusiasm to change directions.

The energy and enthusiasm to even spring into action at all Now. Here's the takeaway for you and me. Here's the takeaway for all of our listeners, all of our people watching. If the elephant and the rider, if the left brain and the right brain ever disagree on which direction to go or whether or not to spring into action, who's gonna win the argument?

Cody: Certainly the, the elephant in that case, 

Taylor: the elephant, every single time. Why? A couple reasons. One, [00:10:00] it's a big old elephant. For one thing, it's got a six ton weight advantage, but the other reason is the elephant. The right brain is responsible for providing the energy, providing the motivation, the enthusiasm to move, change directions, the energy and enthusiasm to be open to accepting feedback, the energy and enthusiasm to implement, to put into action the feedback, the energy and enthusiasm as a guest, as a potential guest, as a potential client, as a potential customer.

The energy to visit again, the energy to spend more money, the energy to come back again and again and again. So it can all be summed up with a another thought leader quote, John Maxwell. He famously said, we coin to this in all of our stuff as well. We can move people into action. And so we first move them with emotion.

So until anybody out there, if you're an up and coming leader, if you've been out here for a few years in a leadership position, maybe you've just been promoted into [00:11:00] a, uh, a higher level leadership role. Just remember this before anybody gets inspired or motivated to do anything, especially to do anything different, especially to do anything that might be a departure or a change from what is comfortable to them.

They first got a feel. And that's why I was just thinking to myself, man, this is a lot like hospitality. When we make people feel it's amazing what they become inspired to then go do the same is true negatively as well. If we, if we do things, if far certain behaviors make them feel bad about themselves, make them feel bad about where they are, then we can expect an equal opposite, you know, reaction to that, the other direction.

Cody: Right. It's, it's not, it's, uh, people don't remember what you say. They remember how you made them feel. And may angel, it's so much more important in illusion context. Quote on 

Taylor: refrigerator, right Over there may Angelou quote. 

Cody: Yeah. And, and that's, it's [00:12:00] so much more important, especially when you're a leader, because if you're looking down on your, your team or the people below you, then you know they don't wanna work for you.

And so you have to be and kind of inspire them, but also motivate them. And even when they, when they screw up and. It's also about the little things and those little things are often kind of not really looked at. And I know in your book you talk about an experience where you took your family to Walt Walt Disney World, and there was this small gesture that kind of had this huge impression, and I'm wondering if you can go into that for me.

Taylor: Yeah. That probably was the first part of Lead with Hospitality, which came out in April, 2021. Right during the pandemic. Yeah. That was me telling a story about my parents taking my sister and me to Walt Disney World. I was five, six years old and I'm 45 years old. As we sit here right now, next month I'll turn 46.

I still remember like it was yesterday. And the, the story I told in the book is where we pulled, we had driven. We [00:13:00] had driven to Orlando from Kentucky. So by the time we pulled in the front drive back then, it was called the Una Vista Palace. I think it now operates as the, as the bee resort. And it's right there on, um, used to be, it used to be called the Walt Disney World Village.

Now that's called Hotel Plaza Boulevard over by, uh, Saratoga Springs. It used to be called Downtown Disney and out Saratoga Springs. Um, but yeah, we pulled into the front drive of this hotel and the, and the, and the person working, the valet, the Bell Services just. Comes in, it was like a theater moment.

Like he opens the car door, welcome to Wally World. He said, uh, and we just thought it was hilarious. And he, he not only made us feel welcome and, and, uh, even added to if it was even possible to add to my sister and I. Our excitement of being there. He asked us if we're gonna go go to the parks while we're there.

Of course we said yes. He then walked us into the front desk, waited while we got checked in, and then he walked with us all the way to our room telling stories about [00:14:00] there's where the restaurant is, where you could get some dinner over. Here's where we have breakfast. Looked at my sister and I remember, like it was yesterday, pointed out how to get to the pool.

In fact, come over here, you can see the pool just adding to our excitement. And um, that's the type of thing I'm talking about and it's like for leaders out here, like imagine what if people that came to work on our team, people that came to work in our organizations, just imagine if they felt. That magic if they felt that about when they came to work.

And that's the simple yet profound stuff that I'm continuing to, to talk about out here and to share with people is that, uh, you mentioned little things. I had several leaders over the over, I had several leaders over the years. One in particular back at Disneyland. Uh, he is a high up guy and he is a really high up guy now at Disney Waldi, Walt Disney Company.

As we speak now. Um, he used to tell me all the time, he's like, there's no silver bullets, man. He's like, there's no like [00:15:00] magical, like one thing. He's like, it's a series, like hundreds of little things done consistently over time. That's the kind of stuff we're talking about.

Cody: So it seems that it, it, do you think that was from the individual employee or was that, or was that experience the result of the leadership structure, uh, and what they taught that employee in terms of how to interact with, uh, with the guests. 

Taylor: It could be a little bit of both. I mean, certainly choosing the right people selection is half the battle.

Do we have the right people on board? And what we share in all of our live learning experiences, leadership, middle management, executive, uh, up and comers, we have, we have sessions that are for sort of this in between type person that's in between a frontline role and a salary leadership role, but they're on this track.

Um. So, uh, what we share with 'em is, is when you're, when it comes around to making your selections, are you making selections based upon, um, your [00:16:00] organization's values? Like, so there's vision, there's mission, and there's values. Vision is where we're going as an organization. This is where we're going.

Mission is why we exist, but values are the hows, values are how? We do what we do. So my guess is, is that way back then, 19 85, 19 86, that organization, that hotel, had a set of values and they went out and they hired and they selected for, and they praised for, and they recognized for, I don't even remember the guy's name.

We'll call him Jim. They probably recognized and made Jim feel great about when they would see that he was doing the things that they needed and wanted and expected from their people. So half of it is selecting the right people whose values align with your organization's values. Uh, the other part is creating the right environment.[00:17:00] 

So like, um, we often think as, as leaders and as coaches, that, you know, we gotta dazzle 'em with our, you know, halftime speeches. You know, we gotta dazzle them with these great pre shifts. We gotta dazzle them with the data in our meetings. Well, it's less about what we say, it's really less about what we even do, but it's all about the environment we create.

So it's about creating an environment where people actually feel like a. I feel welcome here. And I feel comfortable in my own skin that my strengths and my gifts are actually adding value. And in fact, not only are they adding value, they're helping us as an organization get to where we want to go. That makes me feel a sense of pride, the good pride about being a part of this.

Um, now you start to get this sense of belonging, and that is all squarely on the shoulders of any given leader to create that environment. 

Cody: So, [00:18:00] so the environment that you create, like, like the workplace is super important and I think it's, it's easy for employees, for people to really feel on edge, but you argue that that comfort is where real curiosity and relationships happen.

So, so why is creating comfortable environment so critical for fostering curiosity and open conversations and having a strong relationship with your team? 

Taylor: Yeah, it's just because if people don't feel comfortable, if they don't feel safe, like there's different kinds of safe, like there's of course physical safety, but there's also psychological safety.

There's also emotional safety, and it kind of goes back to sort of an old school Walt Disney quote that said, you know, he, he's quoted as saying you can build and create and design the most beautiful place in the world, but it takes people. To make the dream a reality. So if you and I as leaders, you and I as entrepreneurs, you and I as as thought leaders, if we want to, um, you know, [00:19:00] create something special, if we want to create something where, um, it can grow, and by the way, we can only do so much on our own.

So that means we're gonna need. People we're gonna need partner, whether it's partners or a team, or a staff or multiple teams. We, we need people. So what we want is for people to bring their best selves. Like the whole deal of leadership is, is, is like, can we inspire and motivate, um, the right behaviors, um, at the right times to help us achieve agreed upon objectives?

So a lot of that comes down to. What we can inspire other people to do as opposed to what we're able to do. I'll never forget, I was in a, um, leadership class at Disney University. This is a long time ago. Um, I'll date myself. So nine 11 September 11th, you guys are one. Happened the summer after [00:20:00] I got out of undergrad.

So I'm on a management internship at Disney's Contemporary Resort, living the dream, three months as a housekeeping manager, three months as a front desk manager learning all the things. And you'd go to Disney classes along the way for that program as part of your management internship. And then the idea was, you know, do a great job crush.

And then when your six month temporary program ends, Disney will find somewhere to place you as a full-time salaried leader, and then off you go to start your career. Well, everything was going well, and so we were so rudely interrupted when those two planes flew into the World Trade Center, and so all of Disney's hiring went on pos.

Luckily for me, Gaylord Palms Resort and Convention Center was opening across the street, down the road, not a Disney hotel, but still in that. Central Florida market. So I went over there and worked there for a few years, um, before going back to Disney to open Disney's Pop Century Resort. But when I came back from my experience working at Gaylord Palms to then coming back to Disney, I'm a Disney in a Disney University, [00:21:00] and they, it's a full day, you know, couple day class, uh, welcome you, welcoming you back in, sort of baptizing you into the Disney culture where they talk about the values.

They call it Disney Traditions. So anyway, they bring in this fancy executive to kick off the debt and he's like, congratulations. Up until now, all of you have been great doers, but now you're leaders. So now we're not gonna judge you all, all before you've been, you've been graded on the type of work that you have been able to contribute.

But now that you're a leader, we're gonna grade you. And how good you are is dependent on how well you're able to take a group of people, transform 'em into a high performing team of people, and then go lead them to do stuff. So what we need as leaders, especially right now, everything is divided. Political divides, social divides, emotional divides.

What we need if we really want. People to stay if we want the best people to do the best work that [00:22:00] they can. Um, it's up to us as leaders to bring it out of them. If, if they didn't need us, if, if people would just come and do their best organically and automatically, we wouldn't need things like leaders.

Well that's, that's our role in the show. That's what we gotta do. Uh, so that's what I'm talking about. It's up to us to build this environment where, uh, people bring their best and they're motivated and they're inspired to do more and become more and deliver their absolute best work. 

Cody: Right, and, and I, it goes back to this idea that leadership is not just about somebody who barks orders.

A leader is somebody who needs to inspire and create the level of psychological safety and comfort so that everybody who comes can feel like they're able to do their best. Because if they don't respect the leader, if they don't feel that the leader provides them a sense of safety, then you're just going to have a culture, a workplace that is really not conducive.

To, uh, a successful [00:23:00] environment. And I know in the past, you, I think you mentioned in the book, uh, this, this, this leader at Microsoft named Satya who shifted her culture or the Microsoft culture to a learn it all culture. So I'm wondering, what, what is that? Can you explain that kind of, how does that connect to this idea of creating psychological safety and comfort?

Taylor: Yeah, it's a story I came across, uh, Satya Nadella. So he actually, he, he spent like the first 22 years of his career being a software engineer in Microsoft, just like you, I'm going to work every day being a software engineer. And he just kept slowly but surely moving up higher level leading different team.

Okay. Leading this team. So it, and, and at the time Microsoft had had Bill Gates and Steve Balmer as their CEOs, period. The end, that was the history of the CEO. Post. And what happened was they had this exponential growth, of course, starting in a garage, uh, with Bill Gates, Steve Balmer starting in a garage, and then they, the big time growth [00:24:00] explodes.

Uh, bill Gates hands over the CEO role to Steve Balmer and Steve Balmer had this in your face. There's no secret it's out there. You had this in your face. Style of leadership, very abrasive. And as the story goes, what he would tell all the division leaders to do, he'd like rank your people one through five, one being good, five being bad.

And anybody that got like rank four or five almost had this like sort of like negative connotation. This mark against their name, they were unpromotable. And pretty soon that word started getting out and it was like a cancer in and among the entire organization of Microsoft who had become this global sort of powerhouse at this point, people started jumping ship.

They started leaving just 'cause they no longer felt safe. They no longer felt comfortable there. Well then. Microsoft started plateauing and started actually decreasing in terms of all [00:25:00] the growth stopped. The, the, the, the heyday of making money Profit just stopped. And so they were in a big, uh, uh, they had a big problem.

Leadership change. Satya Nadella comes in, he gets the CEO role. First thing he did was have this conversation with all of the company. First thing he did was say, we gotta reestablish trust. And, and Steve Ballmer had this sort of, um, brand of leadership that you had to be like, his expectation was that, yeah, you gotta be a know-it-all about your business.

So I Adella came in and said, that's an unrealistic expectation. I don't want you to feel that way. I want you to change your mindset. Wanna be a learn at all. Like a growth mindset, like understanding that we're not there yet. We're not, we haven't achieved the, the things that we're, we're capable of, but well, we're on our way and as long as we continue to learn and lean in and be open, um, those are the types of things that are gonna help us get [00:26:00] there.

So what started to happen is people who had left the company started coming back, and then the culture they set started to just. Shift. And then as the story goes, the reason why I put it in the book, I was, I had writer's block, you know, six, seven years ago trying to write this, the first, uh, last book, lead with Hospitality.

It was such a compelling story because shortly thereafter, Microsoft started crushing it again and they call it literally a renaissance. Microsoft experienced a renaissance where all of a sudden the shift in culture sort of sparked more of this shift in, um, profitability and growth and expansion. Um, but it was all because of how people felt.

And so it reminds me too of this other research where. I also came across by Edward Desi and Richard Ryan. Okay. These were, these were psychologists back in the eighties, and they came up with the self-determination theory based on their research, and here's what [00:27:00] they found. This, and it ties to what I'm talking about.

When leaders, we have the opportunity to create this environment. It's not about what we say, not necessarily about what we do, but it's all about the environment we create. Here's what the self-determination theory says is that humans like you, me and all those people on our teams, you, me and all those people listening, we all, here's what happens when we have three psycho psychological needs that are met at the same time, we become self-motivated.

We become self-determined. Here's what the three are. Apparently all of us have a need for autonomy. Like we want some choice in how the work gets accomplished. We all have a need for competence. We all have a need to feel like we are. We are. We are really becoming proficient. We are really learning, and we are mastering our work.

Choice, competence. And the last thing is, is we all have a need, whether [00:28:00] you wanna admit it or not, whether if you're somebody that's like, I'm not a people person, I'm not a fluff, all human beings were literally created and wired for social connection. We all have a need for relatedness. So I call it in our, in our book, in this leadership fable that we just put out came out July 8th.

I say this is like the three Cs of compassionate teams. When leaders can create an environment where people feel these three things at the same time, autonomy, which is a sense of choice, a sense of competence, where they're really getting better. They might have made mistakes before, but, ooh, look, you just made an improvement.

Ooh, look at the progress. Or they feel confident or competence, and they're more confident in themselves because of it. And then finally, a sense of community. We can create this environment where people start to build community with one another. And so now we're leaning in and we're appreciating each other's differences, and we're collaborating as a team.

So choice. Competence and community. [00:29:00] What will happen is people will become self-motivated to stay late, come in early, do extra things, do extra research. Not that we're asking 'em to kill themselves in, in terms of work-life balance. It's just about creating the environment where people want to. That's the secret.

And so when I sort of started to mesh in like the science and the, the this, this research with practicality things that I was out there for 20 plus years experiencing firsthand with some great leaders, some crappy leaders, and a lot of 'em in between. Especially some of these brands that I've worked for, whether it be Wal Disney Parks and Resorts, Gaylord Hotels and Resource win, an encore, cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

So I'm out here saying, look man, I've got some things that I found that work. And some things that don't work, and I've even gone and said, okay, let me go do my own research, and I've started to marry up the reasons why. So that's where I'm coming from. 

Cody: Hmm. Yeah. And so it seems that is, is a huge factor is making everybody [00:30:00] feel comfortable and being vulnerable as a leader.

And it shows just, it is. It is just like they've shown studies where, where you're, if you're a speaker on stage and you actually make a mistake. People identify more with you than the perf, than the person who does it perfectly from, from the get go because they identify their own weaknesses in you, and they're able to relate to you more as a leader.

And by having that kind of humbleness, it allows people to connect with you and perhaps even respect you more than they would otherwise. Um, and so everyone wants to feel, uh, respect. And I think that's an important aspect of a leader is so I'm, I'm curious, how do you create that respect as a leader? How do you earn the respect in the admiration of your employees while still being able to push back?

Because sometimes you have to push back as a leader, right? You can't just be this, this great nice guy, you know? Um, you, you kind of want them to see you as a friend. But you're not really friends, right? [00:31:00] And so you need to have a boundary. You need to be able to give direction and say hard things when you need to say hard things.

So how do you balance that? How do you earn the admiration and respect of your employees, but simultaneously being able to be the leader that is willing to say the hard thing, even if it's not gonna get you, get you points. 

Taylor: Yeah, it's a good question. That's the reason we structured lead with hospitality, the way that we did the framework.

So we, and we have six. Six virtues, if you will, of leading with hospitality. Six of them. And they go in order and they go in order on purpose for the reasons you just said. So here's what it is, number one, have a commitment to connect, a commitment for connection. So this is connecting with people on a human level.

Before you do anything else, before you think, you can go in there and start giving orders or coaching or giving feedback or giving inspirational halftime speeches or inspirational state of the union speeches. If you don't have a human connection, it's not gonna go very far. Number two [00:32:00] is strive for self-mastery.

This is emotional intelligence. This is the part where a lot of leaders, young and old emerging leaders, and seasoned leaders alike. What I've noticed in five, six years out here, working with leadership teams, working with different organizations, this is the most prevalent, most common. Drawback, if you will, to any given organization or leadership culture, and especially to any given human being is a lack of or a room for improvement in any of the four components of emotional intelligence.

Self-awareness, self-management, social awareness. You put all three of those together and you get relationship management. So my way of saying that is strive for self-mastery. So as we're out here connecting with people on a human level, start to take stock and start to notice things that are giving you enjoyment, things that are getting on your nerves, things that are frustrating you, and then be able to manage those emotions so that you can create harmony and that you're not adding to the.[00:33:00] 

Disharmony of any given situation. Number one is commitment to connect. Number two is strive for self-mastery. Number two is think about leadership as a service to other people before we ask them to serve us. Before we ask them to serve our guest, customers and clients. Before we ask them to do anything at all, can we show them we are there?

To serve them. Not only serve them today in their role, but we're gonna serve them in a way that will help them all the way into their life and all the way into their future careers. One, connect two, strive for self-mastery. Three, leadership as a service. That's servant leadership. Number four is to engage, not just to engage for the sake of engaging, but engage purposefully.

So things like that's where the generosity comes in, giving our time. Giving our talent and giving our heart. So we all have our special gifts. We all have those natural abilities. As a leader, there's no better way to build [00:34:00] trust and credibility with your team than when they see us out there giving of ourselves giving, just flat out giving our special talents away.

Connect, strive for self mastery serve, engage. Number five is coach. Now we're getting somewhere. Now we've, to your point, we've established the foundation. We've hopefully built some credibility, hopefully because we've taken the time to engage. We've taken the time to connect on a human level, find out a little bit about them, find out a little bit about what motivates them, what did they not like from their past leader, what would they rather this experience provide them?

So that's a level of. Hopefully respect and credibility, which equals trust. Now, number five, we've already sort of walked down the steps, if you will. In the south we call 'em, meet people where they are. We've already met them where they are. So now when it comes time to have a tough conversation, now when it comes time to give them some feedback, because we've done the first [00:35:00] four things, they will be more inferior.

They will be more open to receiving our coaching to receiving. Our feedback because they know it's coming from a place of help, not hurt because we connected with 'em on a human level. We built up some trust. And then number six is to inspire. Connect, strive for self mastery, serve, engage, coach, and inspire.

This is that piece about tapping into that motivating the elephant, peeking the emotion. So letting them know that because you are who you are, because your strengths are such that they are, and the way that you contribute to us, look how your work is impacting our ability to make our vision a reality.

So that's. What I recommend, because what we know to be true, and I'm sure what you've experienced, what a lot of people listening or watching might have experienced. Maybe you're like me and you've made this mistake firsthand where you get in the leadership role or you get the new job and [00:36:00] you're so excited and you wanna prove yourself, and you roll in there.

Try to start coach coaching and aspiring right off the bat before you've successfully connected. Worked on yourself a little bit, served people before asking 'em to do anything. For you and engaged with them in such a way that they're not really used to. I often make the joke 'cause I'm from Disney, you know, and take the boy outta Disney.

Can't take Disney outta the boy kind of thing like we should as leaders, like we should have a mindset and a heart set to approach this in a way that people that are on our team or that people that are in our midst that experience us stop and they're like, Anna from Frozen. They're like. For the first time in forever, I've got a leader that actually took the time to connect with me on a human level.

I've got a leader that, that that served me more than they asked me to do anything for them. I've got a leader that gives their time, [00:37:00] that gives their talents, that gives their heart, man, I've never experienced this is new, and now I'm more compelled to show up in a. Different way to show up with my best and to give my best for them and for our collective cause.

Cody: Yeah, and it's, it's unfortunate that there's probably more leaders in the world that don't lead with humbleness, that that kind of let it go to their heads and either offload the responsibility onto the employees or don't properly coach them or, or lead from a place of humbleness. Because often a manager is always looked up to, as the person who knows what to do, and sometimes you don't know what to do.

Being able to connect with your employees is one of the most important aspects that is, is often missing from a leader. And so I'm wondering if you have any particular frameworks or recommendations that if, say somebody's promoted to a leadership position, and it's not even just leadership, right? [00:38:00] It could be everyday interactions, but I know myself as a leader, I, I have a tendency to go into a meeting.

Then just start saying, okay, what did we do last week? What's, what's, what's going on? What are the KPIs? And the only thing that I've tried to incorporate is a, uh, is, is, is an acronym, I'm forgetting the name now, but it was that you share, you spend the first five minutes of the meeting actually is talking about something good that happened to you in the past week.

And that was like the little bit of, uh. Insert in terms of trying to, being able to connect with people. But how should a, how should a manager interact with an employee? Say you're having a one-on-one conversation. How much of that conversation should be spent getting to know that person or saying, how was your weekend?

Uh, you know, it's like, how do you connect, how do you balance that and connect with the employee before you go then to the part that is the actual job as a leader in giving them the direction that they need? How do you make that connection 

Taylor: be interested? More than you try to come across. Interesting[00:39:00] 

approach. Every interaction, every conversation en route to a relationship instead of a transaction, because it's real easy when we get out here and the whirlwinds going and it's All right, we got an eight o'clock, we got 10 30, I've got this thing. Oh, I gotta squeeze in the team meeting. Real easy to get swept into transaction mode.

Lemme check it off the list. Yeah, we had the meeting, right? You, did you not get the email? I sent it. But what about the three C's? Did you build an environment where people felt those three things, they felt some choice on how the work gets done because of the way you not only set the clear expectation and got out of their way and or gave them now the resources that they need.

To do it. To handle it with the choice, the autonomy. Did they feel competent? Did you recognize them? Did you take that five, 10 minutes at the start of a meeting or before you leave the meeting, or sometime in the middle of the meeting say, you know what? [00:40:00] We're gonna have some recognition moment right here.

I'd like to recognize and then just do it. I wanna recognize Sheila. I wanna recognize Bob. I wanna recognize Robert, whoever for this specific thing. Now they feel competent. And then did you spend some time letting them engage with each other? I forgot who it was from, but I, I picked this up along the way here.

This is more recent. This is after I'd made my switch and started getting outta here as an entrepreneur. I read somewhere where this particular leader on purpose would always show up 10 minutes late to the team meeting on purpose because they wanted the team to talk to each other. Just being there, hanging out in the same space, connecting, building a sense of community, the three Cs, choice, competence, and community.

That's one framework. Another one, I'll go back to Chip and Dan Heath. Everything they [00:41:00] write turns to gold. Recommend every, I got my own books now I'm still selling these guys' books, you know? Yep. Uh, 

Cody: love them. 

Taylor: Yeah, they're great because they sort of marry up the logic and the emotion with all, everything they do.

They have research based stuff, but they have a way of putting in very practical, uh, actionable things to bring them to life. Well, in another book they have, uh, the Power of Moments. Why some moments are more extraordinary than others. Four reasons. Ready? Well, or maybe we could put it in the show notes or you could point people there is it spells epic.

So like some moments just, just land with, with us. Some moments impact us differently and stick with us and are more extraordinary than others. When these four things happen, when people feel an elevated sense of joy, that's the E elevated joy. The P is pride. The good pride, when they feel proud that they belong [00:42:00] on this team, they feel proud to be a part of it, something bigger than themselves.

The I is insight, a moment of insight. When they learn something, they pick up something that they don't soon forget. And the C once again is connection, is human connection. So as leaders, to your point, how do we communicate, how do we connect with our people in such a way that is different that they feel Anna from Frozen for the first time in forever?

I work somewhere where I feel like this is magic. Because the leader created an environment that elevated my joy, made me feel proud to be there. I learn stuff all the time. Moments of insight. I don't soon forget, and I have a human connection, almost an emotional connection to the people there. I have an emotional connection to the mission.

I have emotional connection to what this brand stands for. That's. A couple different frameworks, whether it's three, the Three Cs of Compassionate teams, or it's the Chip and Dan [00:43:00] Heath. Why some moments are more extraordinary than others. 

Cody: Hmm. You, you, you remind me about really the only thing that I remember from reading that book, the Power Moments, is this, uh, this example they give of this hotel in Los Angeles that it looks like a normal motel, like nothing special about it, but in the pool area, they have this big red button and you can press that button and then somebody will come out with a tray of popsicles that you can choose from.

And there's just something that's. So different about that, like the expectation that you might have if, if you go to a, a, a hotel that's a five star hotel, or you know, in, in my case, I've been to a lot of different Michelin restaurants, right? And you, you have this expectation in your head of what you're going to receive and you are criticizing and analyzing.

Everything that happens based on this expectation you have in your head because you have such a high expectation for a five star hotel or a Michelin Star restaurant. And in fact, the experiences that I remember the most are when I go to this tiny hole in the wall, wall restaurant and I have the most amazing [00:44:00] food, and it's like the most incredibly experienced because it's.

The opposite of what I expected. And I think the hotel like that, that's so simple. It's so, it's so easy to have something like that, but it's so different than what you would expect. And another case, I remember, there's, I, I think there's a hotel that in the elevator, they have buttons you can press. And you can choose the music that you wanna listen to in the elevator.

And it's those little tiny things that often are, are shifting that shift us, that create that experience that are so cheap to do. And honestly, I wonder why more, uh, hospitality places don't do these types of things, uh, because of. That's what kind of creates a memo. You don't remember your experience at a hotel, but if you, if a hotel has this a hot, you know, music button in the elevator, you're gonna remember that.

Uh, so I think there's much more that we can do as a leader, as an organization to help creating those, those experiences. But yeah, I just, I just love that story of that, of that motel. 

Taylor: Exactly. A hundred percent. Exactly right. If [00:45:00] we don't feel it, we won't do it. Whether we're, whether we're a member of a team or whether we're a customer, if we don't feel it, we're not gonna go back.

If we don't feel it, we're not gonna tell stories about it like you just did. If we don't feel it, we're not gonna pay the premium. So we don't have a choice whether or not we want to create experiences that people feel.

Cody: Uh, another thing that I was thinking about is just to, just to get your expertise and so I'm sure a lot of people, a lot of leaders are familiar with this concept of the shit sandwich, right? You're in a one-on-one meeting. You have to give somebody some negative feedback about their job performance, and you often put it, you often start o start off with a positive comment, then you, then you.

Put it in the middle. Right. And then you end the conversation on a positive comment is, is that the kind of recommendation you would have for a leader in terms of how do they deliver bad news to an employee? Is that the, the method that you would recommend? 

Taylor: No, that's over, it's been over for, for 15 years.[00:46:00] 

And the reason is, is especially if you've got a high performer, um. Not even so much. I think about the last thing that they're gonna hear. If it's the sandwich, the last thing they're gonna hear is something good. Again,

when what we want them to remember and what we want them to internalize is the thing is the misstep that they made is the, is the mistake that they made or what we expect them to do differently or even better. So a. That's outdated information. If anybody tells you to do that, that means that they're working off the 1998 playbook.

It's over. Now what we share and what, I don't know what you think, but here, here's the approach that that, that we've been out here sharing for the last several years, which is just shift feedback. Like it doesn't have to be, um. [00:47:00] Negative. It doesn't have to be like bad. It doesn't have to be like this thing that we're dreading not only to doing, but we're dreading to receiving.

And the one antidote to that is to have a culture where you have conversations regularly where um, you are not just hearing from your leader, uh, when you've done something wrong. I had a leader back in the day at a hotel that will go unnamed. I only saw this particular leader when he was coming to like basically jump down my throat and give me feedback that we were not cutting it in some way, shape or form.

So I couldn't stand the guy. 'cause the only time that I got to interact with him was when he was telling me how bad I was doing and I left. So what we like to do is shift it from a monologue to a dialogue. In a situation where, in a conversation where a leader can just have a conversation [00:48:00] and say, Hey, I'd like to talk to you about something that I noticed.

Here's the situation, here's the behavior that I noticed, and then ask him a couple questions. One is, when we have that kind of behavior, when we approach X, Y, Z situation, in that respect. What is the impact of that? How do you think that impacts our ability to fill in the blank? Our ability to become the greatest in our industry, our ability to improve the guest experience and just stop and pause, stop talking and let them think about it and give you an answer.

The next question is, if you had it to do all over again tomorrow, or if the same group presented with the same thing, what would you do differently? Pause, stop talking. Let them think about it and then they'll come up with it. It's amazing what'll happen when we just [00:49:00] trust people before we know we can't.

When we ask them what they think, again, another honor from frozen moment, potentially. You want me to decide? You're asking me, yeah, I believe in you. That's why I picked you. That's why I put you in this situation. So now they're walking away from the conversation going. It could've been worse and better yet, Taylor now he, he asked me what I thought I had the right answer, so shoot, I should have been more confident in the first place.

So they walk away. Now I'm going, okay, that was a really important thing to my leader. That was a really important thing that I gotta make sure I hit next time. And the most important part is the burden of learning and the responsibility shift from. The leader to them where the leader asks them those couple questions and they come up with the answer on their own.

Um, that's what I would recommend as opposed to the sandwich, because the sandwich is kind of bs. 

Cody: True. And, and I think that the aspect of [00:50:00] asking the employee what they should do differently, putting it on them to think about how should they have, how should they improve that interaction if it comes up again, that kind of gives them that sense of ownership, right?

Sure. Where you're not telling them what to do, they're coming up with the answers, what they should do differently. And I think that is, that's a much better approach to, to otherwise just giving them straight order. Um. And so it going from leadership to, I know your, your second book called Give Hospitality, it kind of expands on this idea of generosity as a core principle.

So I, I'm wondering if you, for anybody listening that might say, you know, that's interesting, but what would I actually do to give hospitality, you know, like, how does hospitality apply to, uh, in an industry where you all have, where you have remote employees, uh. Or it's not like a hospitality based business.

Are there any kind of, uh, tools or mindsets that, from that book that could help people make a positive change? 

Taylor: Yeah. The thing is, [00:51:00] whether you're in hospitality or not, um, you, you either have people that you're working with or you're relying on people to do certain functions. So that your organization or your business can move the needle or move the proverbial ball down the field.

So the thing about all of these principles is they're transferable from one industry to the next. They're transferable across contexts. They're transferable across cultures. They're transferable across time, um, and they're transferable. Whether it's a remote situation or in-person situation, we prove to ourselves during the pandemic that we can all be physically distanced.

But we still have emotions. We can, we can be physically distanced, but still stay emotionally connected. In fact, we have to look at all these organizations that managed to keep the lights on, managed to keep their companies afloat while [00:52:00] people were spread out, and some still are spread out all across the country or even world.

Well, it's because some leaders decided. That they needed to keep this emotional connection in place. So if you're somebody that has a team or if you're somebody that works in an industry where, um, you're either a part of a team of humans or you lead a team of humans, the thing is, we're all different.

You may work in a different industry than I do. Uh, we got white people, black people, Latina people, Latino people. Asian people. Asian American people, Indian people, indigenous people, gay people, straight people, transgender people, baby boomer people, gen X people, millennial people, gen Z people. One thing we all have in common is we're all people.

So if you're somebody that either works with or relies on humans, then I recommend both frameworks. I recommend connect, strive for [00:53:00] self-mastery, serve, engage, coach. Then inspire. And then the book we just put out is A is a leadership fable this time. So we got a lot of feedback. Taylor loved the other book.

Great. How-tos. You had great stories from real life things and then people are giving me feedback like, why don't you try a story? 'cause there's a lot of people that rather reading these things in the version, a form of a story. So that's what we did. I created all these characters in my heart and in my mind, some based on real people.

Um, and I created the character Summer Grace, and she leaves a toxic job with a toxic boss, and she goes to work for a more magical place called Calo Resorts. Calo means summertime in Hawaiian. So what I've done is this story is about her first two weeks on the job. When she goes to work at Kaela Resorts and Kaela Resorts has gotten a lot of fame and a lot of notoriety for having a very positive, productive and inclusive workplace culture.[00:54:00] 

Remember, this is a hopeful story of what happens when we live, work, and love for a place of generosity. So. All we did was we painted the picture of the conversations that the orientation experienced for Summer Grace and 20 of her new coworkers that have all joined Kaela Resorts together, and I painted the picture of what they do is they have a series of conversations that they call hospitality Conversations about the things that matter.

The things that matter are the ELA resort's values. Give compassion, give encouragement, give kindness. Give hospitality and give leadership, and what I've done is I've created a G word, an I word, a V word, and an E word that I believe will help anybody in any organization, in any industry, on any level will help the G word I word, V word, and E word that I've assigned.

Aligned to each of these core values, compassion, encouragement, kindness, hospitality, leadership. And so I'll leave people [00:55:00] to go check out the book and you can find out there's an action plan. You can go to lead with hospitality.com. You can actually download it free of charge, complimentary, um, where it's got the action plan.

It just, it's, it's meant to give this sense of introspection, both for you and me as individuals, but also for you and I as leaders to share. This resource with our teams. I'm sharing it with a lot of my clients. I'm sharing it with organizations and leaders that aren't even my clients yet. I've been sitting right here on my kitchen table.

I've been traveling and I've been sending leaders all around the country, all four of the most popular Hawaiian Islands, Oahu, Maui, the island of Hawaii, and Kauai. People just waking up to these emails from me. I'm just sending 'em this action plan. I encourage everybody. To just take a look at it and think to yourself, imagine what if I had conversations like this with my team?

What if I had conversations like this with people that are my peers? How much more would I get to know them? How much [00:56:00] more would people get to know me? How much more connected would we be to each other? And how much more connected would all of us be to the overarching purpose and mission of the organization?

So there's a little bit of why I did it and how we. Framed it and what we hope will inspire people to do, because this all started, I started writing this during the pandemic. We no sooner put out lead with hospitality that George Floyd happened and the height of the pandemic and all of the, all of the division.

And it's been divided ever since. And in many ways it's worse now than it was even then in a pretty bad then. So the heartbreak, and I'm sitting here, you know. Going through things on my own, and I'm hearing from my friends, my family, and former colleagues that I've worked with and for in these other organizations that we've mentioned, um, a lot of heartbreak out there.

And it usually comes down to people being divided. And I just have a, I have a feeling that the one thing, or one thing that I know [00:57:00] will bridge divides is a sense of, and a spirit of generosity. And so we did it this way and on purpose, it aligns with the spirit of aloha. So that's why we made it a Hawaiian theme.

What we're doing is we're donating a portion of the proceeds from this book and from any keynotes and leadership development programs that we get as a result for putting out this book in the buzz. Uh, we're donating a portion of the proceeds to the Hawaii Community Foundations Maui Strong Fund to help support the recovery efforts for the people that were impacted by the wildfires in 2023 in Le Haena Harbor on Mount.

Cody: Hmm. So, so Taylor, if there's kinda one core message that you want every listener to take away from our conversation about leading and giving hospitality, what, what would that be? 

Taylor: Be human emotionally connect and serve people selflessly. Great leaders are not great because of their leadership. This [00:58:00] great leaders are great because of their humanness.

So that's why we keep writing all the things. That's why we keep putting out the resources is to bring everybody back as often as we can to staying grounded in your own humanness. 

Cody: Hmm. And, and working listeners connect with your work. Find your books, uh, and learn more about your workshops and coaching.

Taylor: We need lead with hospitality.com. Visit us@leadwithhospitality.com. It's all on there. Make yourself at home. Click around. Uh, my email address isTaylor@leadwithhospitality.com. My cell phone number, (321) 297-6323 At T Scott 5 0 2 on Instagram. And of course I'm on LinkedIn. Taylor Scott, lead with hospitality LLC.

Look forward to connecting with you. 

Cody: Yeah. All right. And I think that wraps up today's conversation. So huge thanks to Taylor Scott for joining us and sharing really some of your remarkable insights that you've had in your [00:59:00] leadership positions and seeing the leadership and really how it should be working.

So thank you again, and as always, thank you for tuning into the Mind Hak podcast. I'm Cody McLain. Stay curious. Keep exploring and I'll catch you in the next episode.